Just like I'd do so on any other morning, I opened my email inbox, and began to feel the familiar mix of trepidation and excitement well up somewhere in the depths of my stomach. I quickly scanned the list of unread emails, ignoring the spam, pausing for a split second at the one reminding me to renew my library subscription...and there it was, the one I'd been waiting for. I opened it quickly. I was hopeful, but my hope quickly gave way to disappointment as I read the text, in Gmail's clean, unimaginative, no-frills formatting.
 "Dear Anuradha,
 Thank you for your interest in my work. I'm sorry but we do not have any positions available currently..."

***

The last few months have turned into a gigantic exercise in sending emails for me. I stalk the people I'd like to work with, online. I spend hours poring over my CV, wondering whether to change this and that, or if the formatting I've used looks good enough. I keep typing out email after email and wait forever for a response, and when I do get a response it's usually disappointing. And then I sit down and swap stories with the bestfriend (who has been amazing, as always, in dealing with my meltdowns and existential crises. Woman, I owe you all the coffee in CCD.) Sigh. Internships seem to be way too competitive. 

Random

It hasn't sunk in yet. Two semesters and I shall be leaving behind a bunch of amazing people and moving on like nothing ever happened. Well, not quite. I can't just forget about people whom I've loved and laughed with and cried with for years and who've stood by me even when I'm putting on my worst behaviour. There are plenty of ways to stay in touch but it'll never be the same.

Also, moving on to a different world is always scary.

The last two months have taught me so much. I miss the good old days, but sometimes, it does you good to kick a few things out of your life.

Yes, I changed the template. I figured it was about time.