This is a point where I've understood that everything doesn't necessarily work out the way I want it to. Acceptance. Acceptance of something I'm not even entirely sure of. There's this voice in my head that keeps telling me I'm being silly, getting all worked up when I don't even know the truth. I'm too afraid to ask, strangely enough. I wonder why. I've never been afraid of asking you anything before.

Back to acceptance. No tears, no tantrums, no rants. But if I ever learn that this is true, I'm afraid I'll hate you for not telling me in the first place. Because I thought telling me was obligatory and came with being friends.

This does not mean I don't feel for you, however.

*sigh*

The past few days seem to have whizzed by rather quickly. Normally, I'd complain, but I'm rather satisfied with how I've handled things. I seem to have figured out how to tackle massive amounts of work and stress without drowning in it. None of this would've been possible without M. You're the one who got me to make a beginning. And then, kept me going even if it meant tolerating my frequent meltdowns. I owe you. :)

My head does feel a lot less cluttered. I'm happier than I've been in quite a while. It doesn't take much to make me happy. Lack of stress and talking to you are definitely on the list. Though the latter hasn't been happening at all lately. *sigh* Oh well.

After All That

I should just accept the fact that I'm terrible at this. 'Nuff said.